Last Updated on May 30, 2019 by Natalie
You’re stuck on a long flight with a crying baby or toddler, and a stressed out mom (or dad). It’s so loud. It’s so obnoxious. What can the childless person do to have a better flight?
I’m a mom, so I’m here to plead the case FOR traveling families, while also asking for compassion from the childless stranger. I can also assure you that the mom, dad, and screaming child are having a far worse day than you are. Yes, really.
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Imagine loving your child with every ounce of your heart
Imagine yourself in that position. “What?” You’re asking. “Are you crazy?” Imagine loving a little being with every ounce of your heart. You know which things that definitely set them off, but you can’t know all of them. Then, imagine that you have to travel far to visit family. You hop on a plane with your child, who is truly a piece of your heart. They start screaming. You offer up a new toy. No dice. You offer up a tasty (and possibly even healthy) snack. Nope. Another snack. Not even a nibble. Maybe the child is tired, but they won’t sleep. “Is my baby ill?” Mom starts wondering frantically. Then, imagine the looks and meant-to-be-just-loud-enough-hear-nasty-remarks, “Can’t they shut up that baby?”
Are your heartstrings wobbling? No? Okay, then imagine the entire scenario above, except YOU are the child and the stressed out mom is your mother.
Kids are so adaptable. They are also little humans with thoughts and feelings, aches and pains. Maybe flying hurts their ears. Maybe it is the scariest thing they’ve ever experienced. Maybe they are feeding off their mom’s stress, too.
This is me when my children were 2 months and 14 months. I’m happy and also exhausted.
Why do people with kids have to travel?
I hear you ask. Why do people with children travel? It is a monumental and daunting task to take young children on a trip. So why bother?
Traveling to a new destination is an amazing way to open up to new experiences, sights, smells, tastes, and culture. Even tiny babies will have memories imprinted in their brains that affect them later in life. Children grow into adults. I fully believe that well traveled children will become exceptional adults. They will be more understanding, open to new experiences, better at reading people, more confident, and maybe less picky eaters.
I travel with my young children for the same reason I read books to them every night (many of those books they will never remember, by the way). To give them a deep love for a world different than ours.
Moms and Dads want to travel, too, and that is not wrong
I also know what it’s like to feel trapped at home with your very young children. As babies, neither of my children enjoyed car rides. I spent the entire month of January in my home, when my kids were ages 18 months and 6 months. We left the house once. I was barely sleeping, due to having a 6 month old. It was too stressful and exhausting to face a winter outing like that. So when I see a mom out with her very young children, I applaud. I call her a superhero. Before I had kids, I simply didn’t know. I didn’t know the exhaustion, the long nights, the loneliness, or that people would act bothered by the very existence of you and your children.
Traveling with children benefits moms and dads, too. It helps them help their kids learn how to act in the world. We shouldn’t shut children away until they are (insert an age you think is appropriate here) and then expect them to be able to understand how to act in society.
So Put in your EARPLUGS
Thank that mom for being brave and fierce. Smile at her. Welcome the traveling children, even the screaming babies, for they will become the people who will gently change the world for the better. They will have a deeper understanding of the big world around them. These children will be the peacemakers.
Children and parents deserve and have a right to be out and about, enjoying life. Right now.
Children and their families deserve to be out and about in society, learning, and exploring their world. Please embrace them. At the minimum, have the decency to keep your nasty comments to yourself. Or did you not learn that from your own parents?
For more information on this perspective, please read Beyond Normalizing Breastfeeding: Normalizing Childhood. It’s a lovely blog post.
4 comments
Cooking different cuisines and taking your kids camping open them up to new experiences, sights, smells, tastes, and culture. So does taking them on a bicycle trip to the next town over. You don’t need to travel with your infants to imprint them. That’s just an excuse for you to travel, not caring about bothering a plane full of 200 other people.
Thank you for your comment. I disagree with you.
I suggest you bring earplugs with you. They are cheap at grocery stores and maybe more sleep would help you to be a kinder person.
Safe travels.
I don’t have children. I do respect people who do. I also respect people who don’t decide their lives have to be restricted to their own home town, or anything else that isn’t harmful to their children just because they have decided to have them. If you don’t want to be on a plane with babies I suggest taking road trips in your own car. Personally I find it far more bothersome to have to deal with drunk adults, or racist people upset they have to sit next to someone of a different skin color. I am thankful for having a mother who traveled every chance she could. I may not remember my earliest trips, but they helped form the person I am. So either get some headphones or good earplugs, or don’t travel with the general public.
You are a wonderful person who has taught me a lot. I’m also thankful your mom took you traveling!
I appreciate your thoughtful response.