Last Updated on April 18, 2021 by Natalie
I love seeing pictures of happy families while they are traveling. It’s inspiring and lovely to see people making memories with their kids, trying new foods, and getting out of their comfort zone. Smiling parents and kids while on picturesque, sandy beaches or some famous, touristy place, are beautiful.
It’s also total crap.
I’m 100% for capturing those perfect moments. In fact, I take hundreds (and sometimes thousands) of photos while on vacation. Occasionally, I pay a photographer to capture some beautiful moments for us, too. I want to be clear about “perfect vacations” and those amazing travel photos involving families. For every perfect moment, there’s an opposite and equal imperfect reaction.
So if your family vacation was more exhausting than relaxing: it’s okay and you are NOT alone.
It happens to me, too.
Is there such a thing as a perfect family vacation?
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The Perfect Family Vacation: Truth or Total B.S?
The closest we’ve had to a “perfect” family vacation was our trip to Playa del Carmen. This trip was taken just after my 40th birthday, kind of as my birthday present. It started out the way all of vacations start: with a lot of bickering between my kids and the parents getting upset about no one appreciating that we were at a beautiful beach. However, once our kids discovered the kids club on the resort, they ditched us for the fun of making crafts and friends and doing child-centered activities. We still managed to spend some quality time with them, playing in the pool and on the beach together.
However, most vacations don’t always go that well.
We take our real life, problems and all, on the road to somewhere else. The kids aren’t much into exploring cities. Luckily, they do love sand and water. There’s usually some complaining and someone who doesn’t eat enough.
Each vacation has had amazing moments and crappy moments peppered through out the time away. Many of the crappiest moments have happened in this past summer.
Scenes from our perfect flight home one year ago.
Real Life Parenting While Traveling
Last year, I spent a week as the solo parent traveling with my kids in Ohio. We flew back to Mexico and it was a dream. It was absolutely amazing. I learned so much about them and we had a really good connection going by the time we returned home.
Then this year happened. Again, the kids and I stayed a week longer than my husband. This year was so awful, I vowed to never take them to Ohio by myself again.
Guys… my kids were fighting for the last fifteen minutes of our first flight. One child ended up bawling. For what felt like forever on the airplane. Stupidly, I’d let them sit together. I was so embarrassed because it was a US flight and I figured I was getting judgy looks behind my back. I thought lack of food was the problem, so I fed them as soon as we landed.
Then, my kids were the kids fighting in the airport, leaving the same child as before bawling again. My other child just couldn’t stop, due to extreme tiredness. If that layover had been any longer, I probably would’ve been the one crying like a banshee in the middle of the airport. Let’s be candid; I almost did bawl in the airport.
On our second flight, I didn’t allow the kids to sit together. Score one for mom, because tired child fell asleep. Once we were back in Mexico, their moods improved and I had both my lovely children back.
So I have to amend my vow. I will never travel to Ohio with my kids without taking electronics. They still can’t sit together. I’m not taking that chance again.
More Real Life Parenting While Traveling
The next event happened on our most recent family vacation. We were at our resort in beautiful Huatulco, Mexico. I picked up my kids from the Kids Club. One child didn’t want to leave. This child was also hungry. I tried to drag the kids back to the beach where my husband was relaxing. It took a long time because the resort was huge. By the time I was able to enlist his help, I was stressed, angry, and over the meltdown.
However, the meltdown only got worse. My child screamed and screamed. We really wanted to go to the room to let it play out, but climbing steep stairs was completely out of the question because my child was unable to do it safely. Staying where we were was the safest choice for the child during their meltdown. We tried a beach shower to see if water would help restore calm. It did not (and I do not recommend this route at all, it was a mistake). Waiting it out was our only option. When my poor child was exhausted, at least 30 minutes had passed (though it felt longer), child was back to their sweet self. And this child really needed me to give them when it was all over.
My child didn’t choose to have a giant meltdown and I didn’t handle the beginning of it very well. However, at a certain point, my husband and I realized that we had to remain calm, even with the stares we received, because our child needed us to be calm during their storm.
Lessons Learned
For my trip from Ohio to Queretaro as a solo parent, I wasn’t prepared at all. Even though I knew to pack extra snacks, I didn’t. I also didn’t pack any books, toys or electronics. Do I even mom? We’d spent the last few days in Ohio with my sister’s family. The kids stayed up late playing with their cousins and then excitement woke them early. By the time we were heading home, they were exhausted. Exhaustion, boredom, and lack of food will make any traveler cranky.
Thank goodness for short layovers.
Parenting Failures are Part of Life and Travel
Parenting failures, child meltdowns, and family bickering will happen whether you travel or not. Unless your family is perfect. I’m betting that like mine, yours isn’t perfect, either. Should we all quit traveling and stay home?
Nope. Keep on traveling, parents!
Even if your child’s behavior frustrates the ever living daylights out of you. Hopefully, you can respond better in your child’s time of need than I did. Ignore the Judgy McJudgersons and move on with your life.
Move forward without high expectations that your vacation will look like your friend Jane’s beautiful family photos from vacation. Don’t believe for one second that the perfect family vacation photos you see on social media aren’t a carefully curated version of someone’s life. After all, it is quite disrespectful to post a photo of another person (young or old) having a meltdown.
Even though there will be really difficult moments while traveling, there will also be really beautiful moments. You can’t have one without the other.
What has been your worst best with your kids? What’s been your worst?
